Mr Dearest Smokey,
I don't get the opportunity to willfully undermine many aspects of my relationship with Melanie, so I found myself quite excited today when your feeble four paws stumbled up to her dinner plate and tried snagging some Chicken Saagwala off her plate.
"Smokey, no! You don't get a free pass just because you're old!"
What'd you say, my sweet lover? No free passes? Well, I got about two dozen of these bad boys wasting away in the dampness of my basement, all of them righteously earned from my dancing queen days. You best believe one of them is gonna be applied tonight, particularly in a form of relationship treachery so dishonorable that Dear Abby herself would take up arms.
Now, Hark! Melanie, is that your cell phone buzzing in our bedroom? Odds are it's me accidentally butt-dialing you from under the table. Why don't you race upstairs and see who it is. I need to feed our mutt the only thing in this world he truly deserves: your dinner.
I don't get the opportunity to willfully undermine many aspects of my relationship with Melanie, so I found myself quite excited today when your feeble four paws stumbled up to her dinner plate and tried snagging some Chicken Saagwala off her plate.
"Smokey, no! You don't get a free pass just because you're old!"
What'd you say, my sweet lover? No free passes? Well, I got about two dozen of these bad boys wasting away in the dampness of my basement, all of them righteously earned from my dancing queen days. You best believe one of them is gonna be applied tonight, particularly in a form of relationship treachery so dishonorable that Dear Abby herself would take up arms.
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